My Wandering Thoughts for Today



Thoughts for Today


I find myself sitting here today, my mind a whirlwind of thoughts. For some inexplicable reason, my thoughts keep drifting from one topic to another. One moment, I’m reminiscing about my childhood, and the next, I’m transported back to the 80s. Suddenly, I’m drawn into a contemplation of aging and my place in life. Then, I’m struck by a sudden urge to think about music. I have no clue why my mind is so restless, so I decided to explore it through writing. Perhaps it will settle into a coherent thought, or perhaps it will only confuse me further. Let’s see how it unfolds.


I find myself alone 75 percent of the time, and I believe this contributes to my mind’s tendency to wander. When you’re not interacting with others directly, you need to find ways to express yourself and keep your mind sharp. As someone who’s not a big TV fan, I find my stimulation in music. Music has a remarkable ability to evoke a wide range of thoughts and memories. I’ve mentioned before how my memory works, and I suppose this can be a catalyst for my mind to wander. I often play my music library on shuffle, exposing myself to a diverse array of genres and eras. Each song brings forth a new thought or memory. I’m guessing that I should start listening to entire albums at a time. Perhaps this will help me focus my thoughts on a single topic. It’s worth a try, but I do believe that music alone is the cause of my mind’s current state of disarray.

One recurring thought in my mind today is about this year in particular. Every year brings new experiences, some of which are positive and some of which are negative. 2025 has turned out to be a year of extremes. The year began with us believing we were finally going to have permanent additions to our family. My oldest son and his wife had been fostering children for four years, and it seemed they would finally be able to adopt them. They were very close, but minor delays kept arising. Finally, things were resolved, and we were just waiting for a few items to fall into place. We were getting excited. Then, around the same time things were starting to resolve, I received a call that my mom, who had Alzheimer’s disease, appeared to be nearing the end. She was no longer responding to any stimuli. We didn’t even have time to plan a trip up as she passed away a few hours later. Losing a parent is emotionally taxing for anyone, regardless of the nature of your relationship. At times, I am still grappling with this for reasons I won’t go into here. Today, I find myself thinking about her at times.


Then, we return to the kids. Finally, it happened. My son and his wife were able to finalize the adoption with all of us present. It was a joyous occasion. We had fallen in love with these children the moment we saw them. They had a difficult life before my son took them in. They were adopted almost immediately after qualifying as foster parents. God had a plan for them. They faced many challenges early on and still occasionally have issues where past experiences resurface in their minds. But finally, they are receiving the love they so deserve, and they are incredible kids. 

And then fate strikes. With no warning, a relatively young lady who had been a significant part of all my kids’ teenage years passed away suddenly. She left behind a husband and two children. Her youngest child was friends with the new grandchildren. This news shocked and affected all of us, as we were involved in many of the same activities at church.


As I was reflecting on this again today, something came to mind! We never know how much time we have left. This made me think about where I was in my life.


This brought to mind past friends and relationships. I don’t like to say “past” because I still have limited contact with some of them. I’ve been thinking about my high school dreams and the time I spent at the White House, along with the relationships I formed there. Sometimes, I think that all my accomplishments came young. But now I realize that’s not true. We raised three wonderful children, and that’s probably the greatest accomplishment of all. Money, fame, and a successful career never meant much to me. Relationships and family were always my top priorities.


An old friend once told me that she usually only dated older guys because they seemed to know what they wanted in life. I’m sure that can be true, but in my case, it wasn’t. I knew from a young age that I wanted a family. It didn’t matter what I did for a living; I could adjust if needed. I did make plans for a career, but they were based on the fact that I couldn’t seem to have a lasting relationship and figured I would be single forever. Times have changed now, but back then, if you didn’t marry by your mid-to-late twenties, the odds were against you, especially if you wanted children.


Okay, enough. I can see now that my mind is still jumping from thought to thought. Writing hasn’t formed a cohesive thought today. So, this will be an unusual blog entry today. It’s more of a ramble than anything else. I guess it lives up to my blog’s name. mes have changed now, but back in those days, if you didn't marry by mid to late 20’s the odds were against you.  Especially if you wanted kids.

Ok. Enough. I can see now that my mind is still hopping from thought to thought. Writing has not formed a cohesive thought today.  So this will be an unusual blog entry today. It is more of a ramble than anything else.  I guess it lives up to my blog’s name. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sarcoidosis

In case you have not heard, I am battling a disease called Sarcoidosis. I seem to have contracted a fairly bad case. For information on this disease, please go to http://WWW.stopsarcoidosis.org . I plan on starting to post again, but I wanted to raise awareness of this disease. Please read and consider donating to help find a cure. This is a side note posted today, June 5, 2025. I still suffer from chronic sarcoidosis. Most of my issues have been neural. The biggest being small fiber neuropathy, a condition more recently associated with sarcoidosis. It has caused a lot of numbness in my feet, hands, and face.  Since this original post, there have been many changes, and I ended up on disability. I get IVIG treatments through a port in my chest two days every other week to control the issues in addition to several daily meds.  Most people go into remission with sarcoidosis. I may have started a time or two, but it always returns with a vengeance if not treated.  If you see ...
Read more

Why Do I Write!?

That’s an excellent question. In the past, people wrote for the joy of it, and if they were talented enough, they also earned a living from it. Others used writing as a way to express their thoughts and emotions. However, the advent of the internet has transformed the landscape of writing. It has become more income-driven, with blogs and videos used to influence people in various ways. Writers often receive tips or offer paid content on various services. Now, let’s delve into the question of why I write. I write because I enjoy it. It’s something I’ve always loved since I was young. I often had notepads around where I would jot down thoughts, ideas, and emotions. I never kept a journal, but these notes served as a way for me to express feelings that I kept bottled up inside. Sometimes, it was simply a fun activity. I would have a story idea or song lyrics in my head and write them down. I often had music playing as I wrote, and surprisingly, it actually calmed me down and helped me foc...
Read more

The 80’s…1988: A Year of Confusion

Image
The 80’s 1988: A Year of Confusion 1988 was one of the most confusing years of my life. It was a rollercoaster ride with extreme ups and downs. The year ended well, but getting to that point took a lot of twists and turns. It was emotionally charged in so many ways that I doubt I can fully convey what transpired. Nevertheless, I started this 80’s mess, so I’ll persevere. Let’s briefly revisit the very end of 1987. As I mentioned in my last entry, my wife (then girlfriend, obviously) and I had split up. It made for an unpleasant Christmas for me. Alison accompanied me to New York in the late fall. My grandmother fell in love with her. All I could hear was how could I let such a lovely girl go. This made Christmas uncomfortable since it was out of my control. So, I returned earlier than planned and went back to work. The New Year started poorly. I called my wife in mid-January to check on her. She was blunt and asked why I called. It was a short call. I figured that was the end. It seeme...
Read more