The 80’s
1988: A Year of Confusion
1988 was one of the most confusing years of my life. It was a rollercoaster ride with extreme ups and downs. The year ended well, but getting to that point took a lot of twists and turns. It was emotionally charged in so many ways that I doubt I can fully convey what transpired. Nevertheless, I started this 80’s mess, so I’ll persevere.
Let’s briefly revisit the very end of 1987. As I mentioned in my last entry, my wife (then girlfriend, obviously) and I had split up. It made for an unpleasant Christmas for me. Alison accompanied me to New York in the late fall. My grandmother fell in love with her. All I could hear was how could I let such a lovely girl go. This made Christmas uncomfortable since it was out of my control. So, I returned earlier than planned and went back to work.
The New Year started poorly. I called my wife in mid-January to check on her. She was blunt and asked why I called. It was a short call. I figured that was the end. It seemed more than just a need for time. I was down on relationships in general at that point. My friends, especially my best man Lee and Amy (mentioned in a few other entries), were determined not to let me wallow. They made sure I was out of the house a couple of times a week. It slowly worked.
Work was slightly busier than usual. 1988 was a campaign year, but since I didn’t do Vice Presidential travel, it wasn’t nearly as bad as 1984. I did trips to Moscow and Santa Barbara a few times and multiple other stateside trips. It wasn’t as bad as I had anticipated. I transferred to the maintenance shop that year because many of the people I worked with were leaving. I didn’t care how the new officer managed the office there. I also couldn’t imagine being there once President Reagan left office. I enjoyed his presence and knew his staff well. The thought of learning an entirely new group didn’t appeal to me.
When I wasn’t traveling or on duty, I spent most of my time with friends I had known for a while. I had an on-again, off-again relationship with someone I started dating around the time I met my wife. I ended it to be with Alison. As a result, my time in clubs decreased, and movie nights or dinners out became my preferred pastimes. I also started doing sound with a band in the DC area.
Then, something unexpected happened.
I was invited over to a coworker’s house to hang out with his girlfriend, a roommate, and his girlfriend’s cousin, who was visiting. Initially, the cousin was talking to the roommate, and it took a while before she and I started talking. Soon, we were the only ones engaged in conversation, and the others seemed to take a backseat. We hit it off really well. We spent the entire night chatting, listening to music, and being silly (I say that affectionately).
She returned home, but I started calling her regularly. Before I knew it, I was driving to her house with her cousin to help her move to Maryland. I was a bit nervous because she was younger than me, but things seemed to go well. While I would occasionally think about Alison, I put her behind me and was very happy to be in a relationship again.
This happiness, however, would be fleeting. This time, the blame lies squarely on my shoulders. I was so resolute in my determination not to rush things that I brought things to a grinding halt. I had convinced myself that moving too quickly had led to all the problems in my past relationships, and I was determined to avoid repeating that mistake. Instead, I slowed things down so much that I came across as only interested in friendship. When I was asked if I wanted a girlfriend or a friend, it stung. I realized I had made a mistake. I genuinely liked this person, and there were feelings there. So briefly, our relationship rekindled. I had messed up. We went to Kings Dominion, and I tried to salvage things. However, after being told that we shouldn’t start things again, I found myself in Moscow, unsure of the status of our relationship. We talked a bit when I returned, but on the first call back, she informed me that she was enlisting in the Army. I knew then that even if we had given our relationship another chance, it would end when she left. Once again, I was left feeling disappointed.
While I was in Russia, something else happened. Near the end of my stay, I received a computer message from my wife expressing her missing me and her desire to talk when I returned home. I agreed to call her, but I was torn between calling her and not doing anything until I resolved things with the person above. However, friendship was all the it would be. So now, I was feeling a mix of upset and confusion. I decided to call Alison, and we agreed to meet for dinner. Before our date, things became even more confusing as the person I was seeing off and on before the person above, was at a party before my date with Alison. She even met my parents that night. Despite all this, my mind was racing, and I couldn’t help but pray for a pleasant dinner with Alison.
So, shortly after my return from Russia, I met with Alison over dinner. We talked a lot, mostly with me listening. She explained that before we broke up, she had been informed that her mom was terminally ill. She couldn’t handle that news and a relationship at that point. She needed to process her mom’s illness and was making frequent trips home. After some time, she realized she missed me. It was like a switch had been flipped. I instantly felt the same way I had before the breakup.
We started seeing each other at least once a week. A couple of months later, we ended up on a trip together to Santa Barbara. She ended up being roommates with someone who was my best friend from work. You may recall the previous story that mentioned me rear-ending a car because I was distracted by my wife’s butt while she was jogging. This was that trip. My friend and my wife had a lot of fun teasing me the entire time we were there.
There are many stories I could tell from that trip, but I’ll keep them to a minimum. I found a place that had roses in many colors and started giving my wife a dozen roses every day. Of course, I had to get a dozen roses for my friend too, because she pouted one day after seeing Alison get another bunch. One afternoon, she was in the office with little to do, and I came by to watch TV with her while we waited for her to finish work. I can’t remember what we were watching, but somehow, engagements came up. She made a comment, and I replied that she had turned me down when I asked her about getting engaged. She said she wouldn’t turn me down now. My heart leaped, and I said, “Wait until we get home.” We had a great trip. Thanks to my friend, we even had a night alone to do laundry while she went and watched TV with my roommate. We all had a great time on that trip.
A couple of weeks later, I presented Alison with an engagement ring, and we discussed our wedding plans for the following summer. Fate intervened about a month and a half later, and we found ourselves on another trip, this time to New York City. The trip began on a humorous note. While working on my trip report and personnel requests on the computer, I overheard a man who was rooming with my Virginia roommate conversing with Alison. Next, I saw him sit down and start writing a letter. I caught my wife’s name at the top and asked him what he was doing. He claimed it was personal, but I simply shrugged and continued working on my reports. Later that afternoon, my roommate in Virginia approached me, chuckling. The aforementioned person had inquired about my feelings towards Alison. He proceeded to tell my roommate that he liked her and had even written her a letter expressing his feelings and inviting her out. My roommate scolded him, revealing that she was engaged to me. The man insisted that she wasn’t wearing a ring (she had removed it the previous day to load equipment into the hotel). My roommate advised him to look again. The man turned pale and exclaimed that I was going to kill him. I simply teased Alison about the incident. I did mention it to the man when we returned to Washington, D.C., and he was embarrassed. I reassured him that he didn’t know, and everything was resolved.
The day after she received the letter, I found myself growing increasingly concerned. That morning, during our morning meeting, Alison seemed evasive and distant. While she sat next to me, she created a wall between us. Later that day, when I invited her to dinner, she declined. I inquired about her reasons, and she promised to reveal them later. I suggested that I come to her room later, and she reluctantly agreed. Upon visiting her room, I attempted to coax her into sharing her concerns, but she insisted that I wait. This exchange ultimately led to our first significant argument. Returning to my room, I felt confused and apprehensive about what might transpire.
Surprisingly, the next morning, she greeted me with an immediate hug. She reassured me that she had promised to tell me what was bothering her when we returned home and not to worry. She seemed to be in good spirits throughout the rest of the trip.
Upon our return to DC, I remained silent and waited for her to reveal the source of her distress. Our second outing after our return was scheduled to be with her visiting father. Upon arriving at her apartment, I found her in tears. Her father had become angry and slammed the door, leaving shortly after. She cuddled with me on the couch, crying. Once she calmed down, we went to eat. After dinner, we returned home, and she finally began to explain what had been troubling her during our trip to New York. Apparently, doing laundry in Santa Barbara had been overwhelming for her. She revealed that she was pregnant. She had wanted to confirm this with her doctor before disclosing it to me. She was afraid that I might be upset or that it could complicate our relationship. This was why her father had stormed out. When she saw that I was almost in tears with joy and suggested moving the wedding up, she gave me a huge hug and expressed her love for me. It was the first time she had said “I love you” without me having to say it first. Both of us were filled with tears of happiness.
That brings us to the end of 1988. We called all our family members and shared the exciting news. We had decided to have a New Year’s Eve wedding because we knew that many of our family members in the military would be home that day. December was an incredibly hectic month for us. I had to travel to Butler, Pennsylvania, for a physical examination and blood tests. After that, we needed to obtain the marriage license. I had also planned a bachelor party back in Virginia. Christmas was spent without our families. She had a bridal shower just before the wedding, where she received Christmas presents from my family as well. Despite all the last-minute preparations, we managed to get married at Trinity Presbyterian Church in Butler on New Year’s Eve and spent the night at the nearby Connelys Resort outside of Butler.
Well, that’s enough for now. I believe 1989 will be a much shorter year, and I’ll include some additional details about our wedding. For now, I want to express my heartfelt blessings to all of you.
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