Ralphie's Ramblings

The 80’s 1988: A Year of Confusion 1988 was one of the most confusing years of my life. It was a rollercoaster ride with extreme ups and downs. The year ended well, but getting to that point took a lot of twists and turns. It was emotionally charged in so many ways that I doubt I can fully convey what transpired. Nevertheless, I started this 80’s mess, so I’ll persevere. Let’s briefly revisit the very end of 1987. As I mentioned in my last entry, my wife (then girlfriend, obviously) and I had split up. It made for an unpleasant Christmas for me. Alison accompanied me to New York in the late fall. My grandmother fell in love with her. All I could hear was how could I let such a lovely girl go. This made Christmas uncomfortable since it was out of my control. So, I returned earlier than planned and went back to work. The New Year started poorly. I called my wife in mid-January to check on her. She was blunt and asked why I called. It was a short call. I figured that was the end. It seeme

Random Thoughts of a Madman The smile on my face Is nothing more than a facade A painting for you to see  A way for my feelings to hide The laughter in my life  Is nothing more than a mirage  From a desert filled with sand  In my mind it keeps me alive I’ve traveled through this life With nothing more to say Than a joke along the way So you think that I am happy And alive  But if you look inside  You’ll see all the times I cried The loneliness that just won’t subside.  The feelings I won’t share the anger of my heart And the part of me that’s already died. 

 Love (you will never know) Verse 1:  I see you in the morning light, Your smile, it brightens up my day. But you don’t know the way I feel, My heart, it aches in silent sway. Chorus:  Oh, unrequited love, You’re the dream I can’t let go. In the shadows, I remain, Loving you, you’ll never know. Verse 2:  I watch you from a distance, Wishing I could hold you near. But I’m just a whisper in the wind, A secret love, a hidden tear. Chorus:  Oh, unrequited love, You’re the dream I can’t let go. In the shadows, I remain, Loving you, you’ll never know. Bridge:  Every word you say, Every laugh you share, Cuts me deep inside, But you’re unaware. Chorus:  Oh, unrequited love, You’re the dream I can’t let go. In the shadows, I remain, Loving you, you’ll never know. Outro:  So I’ll keep this love inside, A silent song, a quiet plea. Hoping one day you’ll see, The love that’s always been in me.

Sanity Insanity Memories of the past Whispers of today Tears unfolding Mind still holding Can I control memories Some good some bad Am I happy Or am I sad Forgetting Returning  Like a dream  But real in every way Fears of yesterday  Tears of Today Can I control memories Some good some bad Am I happy Or am I sad

The 80’s The year is 1987. Various aspects I mentioned in other blog posts seem to all converge in 1987. Consequently, I might revisit some topics. There might also be aspects that I’ve never discussed publicly before. We’ll see how it unfolds. For now, put on your parachute pants, crank up your favorite 80’s music, and let’s see how it goes. The year started uneventfully. President Reagan would spend every Christmas in Palm Springs, and I would always volunteer to stay behind. I would trade work days or take a few days’ leave to drive home for Christmas. I would return to the DC area for New Year’s and work while carrying a pager. However, I don’t recall ever getting paged during the Christmas holidays. The New Year arrived uneventfully as friends were either busy or traveling. As the year progressed, my relationship with my roommate began to deteriorate. I suppose if we had established more ground rules, things could have been different. She constantly complained if I invited a date