BigRalphN’s Ramblings (Formally Ralphies)

One Night Stand Encasing All-Embracing Moments In Time Eases the Hurting Frustration  Elation Memories of mine Repeats all the yearning I feel you in my dreams It erases my mind Your no longer spurning Advancements in my heart  That race through my mind Thoughts your not returning.  There was one night You opened your mind  And we started learning  Desires and the lust of our hearts Started us burning I feel you in my dreams It erases my mind Your no longer spurning Advancements in my heart  That alter my time  Thoughts your not returning.  I wonder in my dream Can friendships survive  Our goals and our burning All that we had to the ashes in time  And difference in yearning I feel you in my dreams It erases my mind Your no longer spurning Advancements in my heart  That race through my mind Thoughts your not returning. 

  Psychedelic Journey Swirling and turning Yellows Reds Blues Weaving in and out Is that space  Or just a hue A haze of smoke  A journey  One I can not deny  The music transports me Will I laugh or will I cry Intensity is glaring I must close my eyes A trip to a place Beyond reach of this realm I open my eyes A Psychedelic Journey  In a plastic disguise 

  Time Through eternity we pass Like petals in the wind Landing where we may A part of the landscape Through our remaining years Counting the minutes  Waiting for the inevitable tomorrow  That ushers us into the light

 First Kiss Shivering anticipation  Your childlike eyes look at mine Wondering if you are thinking  About what is deep in my mind My mind swirls around  As I look to the ground Wondering if it’s a sign You smile and you laugh As you pull away  I wonder what to do now You look at me with expectations  Our hearts pound we tremble inside  Fear grips us both as we wonder If youths grip will change our minds My mind swirls around  As I look to the ground Wondering if it’s a sign You smile and you laugh As you pull away  I wonder what to do now Suddenly with infatuation  We move close and stare in our eyes Our lips touch and I feel a shiver The warmth of our lips a surprise It was the last time I ever saw you But that night is ingrained in my mind Sharon I’ll never forget you I hope that your memories match mine

 Ghosts I am alone Haunted by the ghosts of the past In love with a dream That didn’t last Driven by ideas of Romance not returned  Touching but not touched Afraid of my short time that remains  Age is a sobering bride A bride that removes the veil of conceit  And replaces it with seeds of doubt Can I kindle a fire never there When all the fuel has run out My mind and thoughts are still young Desire and drive not diminished by age I feel like a child trapped in a withering shell Chastised from day one Have the ghosts left me as well?

I am deep in a dream  Where the years fall away Like the leaves on a clear autumn day  When the love that we had Was just starting to bloom   And you started to push me away   In the dream I am drawn  To the reasons you give  I am not sure if I can survive  The past closes in as tears start to fall  And I no longer feel quite alive   It’s a dream  Just a dream  That I still bear in my heart  The dance and the kiss  And the feelings exist  And we ended miles apart

For most of my life I was a person that lived in the now.  The past was the past.  I would think about old friends and colleagues from time to time,  but keeping in touch was not something I did.  If I am being totally transparent,  my thoughts seldom drifted to anything other than what I was doing that day or the upcoming weekend.  That has changed.  Now it seems like thinking back is the norm.  I guess my illness, or age, has suddenly made my own mortality sink in.  It could also be that I seem to have a better long term memory than others.  I can't remember where I put my keys yesterday but I can remember that I paid $4.00 for my first Kiss album from Nichol's (or was it Nickles)  department store in Herkimer New York. More recently, time in Icu and emergency surgery (pulmonary embolism), and learning of high school classmates that we have lost, has me thinking even more of the past. Memories good, and bad, flood in. I find myself telling stories frequently. I wonder if othe...